Tuesday, March 6th

Listened to: Freestyle, Imogen Heap

Delivered to: 3

Moments of Awkwardness: 1

Judgements Passed: 0

Conversations had: 0

Things Devoured: 0

Things Learnt: Nothing, which is okay. As long as I am willing to learn.

Memorable Moments: There was a cat that I came across that had a very strange looking eye. One of it's pupils was not circular, it was more of a wide, squiggily line that ran from the middle of its eye to the bottom right corner. It was a little strange, but I pet it anyway.

One of the people I delivered to was standing in their doorway waiting for me because one of their neighbours was working on their truck with their music blasting. The person I delivered to did not seem happy and they described their neighbour as an "A-hole with too much coke." I didn't know what to say. "Yeah, too much coke'll do that to you every time." I just smiled and nodded, gave them their delivery and politely left. When in doubt, leave.

Animals Pet: 4

Days Left: 7

Monday, March 5th

Listened to: Freestyle, Keane

Delivered to: 5

Conversations had: 0

Moments of Awkwardness: 0

Judgments Passed: 1

Things Devoured: Zip.

Things Learnt: People actually play underwater hockey as a competetive sport. I think there should be a limit to what we call sports and claim as our creative brainchild. I can't just say, hey, tennis on the moon. Good idea, and now it is my idea. No one else may develop a tennis on the moon league. The location something is played does not change the sport just the stakes.

Memorable Moment: I don't know. I didn't write anything down. Probably reading and being done.

Days left: 8, because I miss one day next week.

Currently Reading: Lord Foul's Bane by Stephen R. Donaldson. I had to take a break from "The Idiot." I can only read it in smaller chunks.

Friday, March 2nd

Listened to: A bunch of mixed CD's that I had not written down anything that was on them. So, I needed to listen and take notes as to what songs there were. Very dangerous while on the road. No crashes, though. I will highlight some of the artists/songs from said CD's. Go West (not the song but the band. Google them, they rule), Pet Shop Boys, that song from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure when they're standing in the future with Billy the Kid and Socrates and all the future people start air guitaring, Turtle Power (rap from the original movie), John Mayer, random future pop groups, You Can Call me All, Billy Joel, Wang Chung and so on. It was a good day for music. However, Afganada, a radio drama which I did not originally like and have grown to like, was replaced by Canada Reads, some debate about what book is best featuring musicians and other quasi-famous Canadians defening their favorite book. Didn't listen.

Delivered to: 33

Conversations had: 2

Moments of Awkwardness: 1

Judgments Passed: 0

Things Devoured: Footlong Spicy Italian Sub on Honey Oat, water, gum

Things Learnt: Cancer lowers hemoglobens, I think.

Memorable Moments: It was a very circular day. In one resthome, or whatever they're called, there was a circle of old ladies, in a room that I passed by, playing with a balloon. They were all hitting it into the air to each other in the circle and they were having fun. It is a fun activity, it was just something I did not expect to see a group of older ladies doing. Then, as I left another building there was a drum circle outside of the funeral home. I thought it was neat.

My most memorable moment of them all was quitting. Oh, it has been a long time coming. And it felt good to say that I will not be doing this job anymore. I think it's the first time I've technically been able to quit a job. All the rest I've had have just ended. It was pretty awesome. Two more weeks.

Jobs I will no longer be doing: This one.

Thursday, March 1st

Listened to: Freestyle

Delivered to: 4

Conversations had: 0

Moments of Awkwardness: 0

Judgments Passed: 0

Things Devoured: 0

Things Learnt: 0

Memorable Moments: 0

Overall Feeling of the Day: Booooorrrrrrrring!

Wednesday, February 28th

Listened to: Freestyle, Bloc Party (the new album which is very good, if you like that style of music, which I have no idea what it's called)

Delivered to: 9

Conversations had: 1

Moments of Awkwardness: 2

Judgments Passed: 1

Things Devoured: Grande Decaf Americano

Things Learnt: The Bees of the world are disappearing, which ia apparently bad. Suites me fine. Little creatures that get so angry at a person they sting them, which leads to their death and they know it but they still do it have no place in a "civilized" world, if you ask me. But apparently they pollinate a lot of our food, up to one third of all food in the world, so I guess that's a big deal. Whatever.

Memorable Moments: There were four kids walking down the street. Three older boys and one younger girl. One of the boys had the girls backpack and was pretending to throw it over hedges, out into the street and so on while she was jumping up and down, running around trying to get it. Eventually, he just threw it behind them a bit and then she ran back, grabbed it and ran back to the boys, walking along beside them, smiling the whole time. Here is my interpretation. One of those three boys was the older brother of that girl. She likes one of his friends. His friend likes the fact that she likes him, but only because it means he will be looked upon as cool for harrassing her by his other two friends. So, the backpack thing was not a cry from him saying, "Little girl, I love you that is why I am doing this" it was probably more like, "Hey guys, look at what I can get this stupid little girl to do." And she loved it. Girls, let me tell you, guys are stupid and will probably, for a very long chunk in their early lives, do anything to impress their friends. We are insecure and need validation. Please don't be like this.

Rants gone on: 1

Tuesday, Feb. 27th

Listened to: Freestyle, and for some reason I have in brackets the words "Mother Mother." I am guessing it may be a band or an expression of some unfathomable emotion.

Delivered to: 6

Conversations had: 0

Moments of Awkwardness: 0

Judgments Passed: 2 (even on my birthday I'm judgmental. What a jerk.)

Things Devoured: Nothing but loneliness. Actually, that night there were mass amounts of sushi eaten by myself, my wife and two close friends while watching "Idiocracy", a dumb but funny flick.

Things Learnt: KFC is attempting to get the Pope to bless, not just approve of but bless, their new fish sandwich as a way for Lent observers to eat quickly and conveniently but still follow "No Meat Fridays." I feel it is somewhat of a stretch.

Memorable Moments: Sadly, none.

Currently Reading: "The Idiot" by Fyodor Dostoevsky.

Friday, February 23rd

Listened to: Snow Patrol, Afganada, Freestyle, Mixed CD (used for inspiration for writing)

Delivered to: 35

Conversations had: 2

Moments of Awkwardness: 1

Judgments Passed: 2

Things Devoured: Something at Subway but I didn't write it down and I don't have that good of a memory. Probably a Subway Melt with cookies and pop, though.

Things Learnt: A fellow by the name of Amos Lee could be a good musician. One song sounded good.

Memorable Moments: There was a young lasy who I passed by on the street that had a leash in her hand but I couldn't see what it was that she was walking. It was too small. So, my expectations were raised that it was some cute little puppy that she was walking. As I passed by and was able to see what in fact she was walking, it turned out to be small and fuzzy but it was not a puppy. It was a ferret. Weird. Somewhat cool but weird.

There was the most disgusting smell I have ever smelt in my life in the stairway that led to an apartment room I needed to deliver to. I don't even know how to describe it. On the second flight there were wet spots, indicating that someone had peed/discharged some mystery fluid/leaked something out of a garbage bag. It was gross. It actually reminded me of a time when some friends on a break from working at a camp found a squirtgun and filled it with whatever leftover, disgusting fluids that were in the fridge of one of the friends homes. We had plans to drive by and squirt someone but we could not bring ourself to do it. A sad moment.

Friday, February 16th

Listened to: Afganada, Freestyle, Static in Stereo, Age of Electric, Limblifter. I found myself in a "Todd Kerns" mood today for music. Also Ryan Dahle. They are much better together, I feel. It was very much a Vancouver indie-grunge-rock feel in my car today. If anybody knows what I'm talking about, that will help me not feel as old and dorky as I do now.

Delivered to: 30

Conversations had: 4

Moments of Awkwardness: 0 (one thing about this job, it has really prepared me to fact the gamete of awkward situations that life may throw at me. I give "mad props" to it for that)

Judgments passed: 2

Things Devoured: One Footlong Subway Melt on Wheat, 2 White Chocolate Macadamia Nut cookies, Three medium size diet coke, one grande Kenya blend, two pieces of gum

Things Learnt: My memory for music is far more advanced than I care to admit. I had not listened to a CD for, probably, three years. Before then, I did not listen to it much. Today, I was able to sing along to it without hearing the song and knowing when the lead singer changed the melody or used harmony. It was sad.

The adventure continues: There is no blood in her stool, but she is gassy*

There is something in existence called a "Doomsday Vault." It is used to store seeds of all storable vegetation and plant life in a safe place just in case some sort of disaster strikes. Not as cool as I thought it was going to be when I heard someone say "Doomsday Vault."

Memorable Moments: I delivered to a house next to a graveyard. There were cars parked all around the graveyard, so I thought there was a funeral. I got excited. I's never seen a funeral or a gathering in remembrance in a graveyard before. Only on the movies. Alas, there were no people in the graveyard. There was also a school nearby so the cars must have been there for some special school event. Bah. At least no one died. I guess.

Percentage of Notebook I use to Take Notes that got Covered with a Coffee Stain Today: 35%

*for clarification, see previous blogs

Thursday, February 15th

Listened to: Evidence that Demands a Verdict, K-OS

Delivered to: 10

Conversations had: 1

Moments of Awkwardness: 0

Judgments Passed: 1

Things Devoured: Nothin'

Things Learnt: People who have the last name Tickle are not necesarily jovial by nature

Memorable Moments: I was sitting in my car, recording another person delivered to, and it started to rain. My stereo had not come on yet and the sound of the rain falling on my metal, or tin, whatever cars are made out of, roof. It was calming. I have missed the rain.

Thought: If your house is around 100 feet away from the road and someone driving on said road can see clearly what it is that you are watching on TV through your living room window, your TV may be too big. Our culture is stupid.

Wednesday, February 14th

Listened to: Freestyle, Matt Redman

Delivered to: 7

Conversations had: 1

Moments of Awkwardness: 1

Judgments Passed: 2

Things Devoured: Nada

Things Learnt: People are lonely

Memorable Moments: I turned down this side street that I often take to get to a group of retirement-type homes and there was this old man walking along the side of the road. As soon as I turned onto the road, he stopped, crossed his arms, began looking upset/constipated and just watched me come up to him, pass him and then, as I saw in my rearview mirror, drive away. I was not speeding, I was not swearing, I do not have dirty pictures on my car, I was not playing my music very loudly and my car is not fancy. Strange.

There is a man who often goes into dumpsters looking for anything useful who wanders around town with a shopping cart. I have seen him often and he is always alone. Today, there was a lady with a shopping cart walking with him. It was sweet. Happy Valentines Day, buddy.

During my drive to my last delivery of the day, the sky looked as though it were on fire. It was this beautiful orange and pink colour all over. It was a nice end to a fairly easy day.

Valentines Received: 0, which is okay. I don't think my wife would appreciate me receiving valentines from someone other than her. Plus, I know that I'm loved. I don't need cards to tell me, often anyway. Only sometimes.

Tuesday, February 13th

Listened to: Freestyle, Martha Wainright

Delivered to: 3

Conversations had: 1

Moments of Awkwardness: 0

Judgments Passed: 4 (most coming within the last half hour, as usual)

Things Devoured: One Grande Americano (are we sensing a theme to what it is I devour?)

Things Learnt: Lawnmower = bad Valentines gift

Memorable Moments: There is a family that I deliver to often, about once or twice a week. They have a dog that doesn't get out much and is kind of fat. She is a Lab, I think. Anyway, she has gotten to know me and always brings her ball over to me whenever I come because I kicked it once and she thought I was playing with her. So, now I have started playing with her. What can I say? I'm a sucker for dogs.

Frightening and Unnatural Noises Made by my Car: 4

Monday, February 12th

Listened to: Evidence that Demands a Verdict by Josh McDowell

Delivered to: 5

Conversations had: 1

Moments of Awkwardness: 1

Judgments Passed: 0

Things Devoured: One Grande Sumatra, a stick of gum

Things Learnt: Further adventures and developments in the wonderful land of Diarrhea from the old lady. She needs to see a surgeon about it. I can't imagine that's good at all. I also can't/don't want to imagine what that would be about.

Memorable Moments: There was this little white, yappy dog that came out of a house and just sat by my car as I was trying to leave. It disappeared as I was backing up and I didn't want to run it over, so I opened up the door to see where it was. Then it tried to get in the open door but I didn't want to steal it from its owner. That probably wouldn't reflect well on the people I deliver for. So, I had to back out of the driveway, door open, watching the dog and the rearview mirror the whole time. People should learn the concept of leashes. Or fences.

Currently Reading: The Thousandfold Thought by R. Scott Bakker

Semitrucks that I passed as I Drove from One End of Town to the Other (Which took Eight Minutes): 25. Apparently five thirty is the optimum travel time for giant trucks.

Friday, Feb. 9th

Listened to: Married life in the Spirit by Stuart Briscoe (he is an elderly British chap who is teaching through the book of Ephesians. It's awesome.), Afganada (which I have now started to like), Bloc Party (the new one. Boo ya!), Freestyle on CBC radio

Deliverd to: 26

Conversations had: 2

Moments of Awkwardness: 3

Judgments Passed: 5

Things Devoured: One Footlong Subway Melt on Honey Oat, Two White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies, Three Fountain Drinks of Diet Coke, One Grande Decaf Americano, a stick of gum

Learnt: All about a certain old persons adventures in the wonderful land of Diarrhea.

Webster's defines diarrhea as 1. Abnormally frequent intestinal evacuations with more or less fluid stools and 2. Excessive flow. If you went with definition number two, there could be a lot more things that have diarrhea than just the norm. That strikes me as interesting. "Hey look, the river sure has diarrhea this week." I like definition number one, mostly because it has the word 'evacuation' in it.

Memorable Moments: I was told by one of my regular Friday deliverees that underneath my smooth exterior (which was my first point of confusion) there is a thug wanting to break free. He then called his girlfriend (or who I assume was his girlfriend) over and asked her if she thought that. Clearly high, she said "F*** Yeah. Then put her fist out for me to pound and said her name was Brandee. I half-heartedly offered my own fist and name in reply. I was then told by the deliveree that they needed to get me into the gangster rap scene. But not the new stuff, like 50 and whatnot. That's for old women. But Tupac and Biggie. I disagreed by saying the message was too negative. He then told me that it was real life and how can real life be negative. I still disagreed. But I smiled, was friendly, because he is a nice guy, and went back to Battlecat where I continued to listen to "Married Life in the Spirit" by Stuart Briscoe. Fascinating.

Evacuation: Something evacuated or discharged

Evacuate: To remove the contents of: Empty; to withdraw from military occupation of.

Thursday, Feb. 8th

Listened to: Church Life in the Spirit by Stuart Briscoe, Lincoln Brewster

Delivered to: 11

Conversations had: 0

Moments of Awkwardness: 1

Judgments Passed: 2

Things Devoured: Nothing, except for maybe a bug and some humble pie.

Learnt: Nothing. The best kind of days.

Memorable Moments: I once again had to deliver to the Hospital. Not just the pharmacy, which is on the main floor and very simple to get to. I had to take the elevator, wander down a couple of hallways and then get to the main desk where there were lots of nurses and patients hanging around. I saw a person on a gurney. They actually do that. Who knew?

Diseases Caught: So far, nothing. And I don't think you can catch crazy.

Tuesday, Feb. 6th (Back Again)

I decided I should once again update. It has been awhile. I will not go back and review what I have done. I will just start afresh. Here we go.

Delivered to: 4

Listened to: Collective Soul, We are Scientists

Conversations had: 1

Moments of Awkwardness: 0

Judgments Passed: 1

*New: Things Devoured: Fruit Source plus Veggie fruit bar, Grande Gold Coast Coffee

Things Learnt: There are people in the world who do not understand what loading zones are for. They are not called waiting zones and they are mostly two spots large so that two people can stop there, not so one douchebag can fill up both spots.

Car detailing involves things I never thought it actually involved. It sounds quite meticulous. Thanks Sheldon.

Memorable Moments: Receiving Battlecat back from Toyota after he got rearended thanks to an idiot pedestrian and a tailgating, non-attention paying driver. I had to drive a PT Cruiser around for a week. I did not like. It was glorious to be reunited with my faithful steed.

Currently Reading: The Warrior-Prophet by R. Scott Bakker

Notable Books I Read While My Blog was Silent: I read a lot over the last little while as I have rediscovered my love for reading. I would like to highlight some of my favorites.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safron Foer; Gates of Fire by Steven Pressfield (thanks Lorne); The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero; Eragon by Christopher Paolini; The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky; The Question of God by Dr. Armand M. Nicholi, Jr.; A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore.

I enjoyed these books immensely. Take that for what it's worth.

Tuesday, Nov. 14th

Listened to: Jars of Clay, All Points West (for, like, five minutes by accident)

Delivered to: 10

Conversations had: 1

Moments of Awkwardness: 2 (One really, but it was so awkward I counted it as two)

Judgments Passed: 5 (oooohh)

Things Learnt: Judgments flow more freely when I am in a hurry.

Memorable Moments: While I was accidently listening to All Points West, I was in a large hurry to get back to homebase for my deliveries on time. So, in my hurry, this country song (a bad country song, I might add) came on that talked about slowing down. I said no and why. Then the song said that there was a person asking why we should slow down. I understodd the song and agree with it. Life is quite quickly paced and soon everyone will just drop dead but I needed to get back to pick up my last two deliveries, deliver them and get to play practice on time. So there country song!

There is one older (about 100) lady who I deliver to and every time I deliver to her, she makes me dance with her. She says I need to learn. It kind of makes me feel uncomfortable as she grabs my hand, tells me to count to three and move around. So I just stand there. Then she asks me what's wrong with kids today. I said I don't really know, maybe we're in a hurry. Then she told me to breathe and enjoy life. I think I do. I just don't enjoy dancing with a hundred year old lady. I don't think I'm alone there.

Abuse Taken: 1 (I have decided to change this category, as of tomorrow. I know it didn't last very long but it's not what I want to portray on my blog. I will transition it tonight with the new, or slightly different, category. I had a personal revelation that the worst part about being a delivery person for me is not the abuse. At least that is some sort of response. I find that indifference is the worst, not even being treated nicely or horribly, just ignored. So now, the category will be...)

Indifference Experienced: 2

Abuse Given to Battlecat (My faithful steed who in no way deserves abuse. He deserves oil baths and antifreeze kisses): Too many quick accelerations and brakings. Sorry.

Friday, Nov. 10th

Listened to: Killers, Keane, Freestyle

Delivered to: 33

Conversations had: 3

Moments of Awkwardness: 2

Judgments Passed: 4

Things Learnt: Old age is not for sissies.

Memorable Moments: One retirement centre that I was delivering to was in the middle of having what looked to be a Pep Rally. They were talking about all of the great things that this retirement centre had to offer which was followed by cheers and applause. The only point which I heard on my way to the elevator was that they were allowed to drink alcohol in their rooms. Huzzah!

Abuse Taken: 2

Oil Burned: Too much, as Battlecat (my faithful steed) is getting quite worm down.

Thursday, Nov. 9th

Listened to: Freestyle

Delivered to: 6

Conversations had: 0

Moments of Awkwardness: 1

Judgments Passed: 1

Things Learnt: There is a band that sounds really good out there, at least one of their songs does, called Greenwich Mean Time. I haven't googled them yet but fully plan on doing it.

I do not like Traditional Japanese Folk Pop Funk Music. The sound does not appeal to my senses.

Memorable Moments: There is a musician/performer from Vancouver who also works as a cremationist. Interesting combo but it makes sense in a strange way. There was a song of his played though called "West Van Girl" and the lyrics made me laugh. One line said, "West Van girl, may I whisper East Van things in your ear?" Harmless enough, if not kind of cheesy. But the whole time I just kept thinking of these guy whispering these song lyrics into the ear of this dead girl before she was about to get cremated. It was weird.

I am adding a new category. I have discovered being a delivery person, that delivery people are not always treated with the highest regard. Surprise, surprise. I think there are two schools of people when it comes to how to treat delivery people. One is the person that is very grateful as they feel as if they are putting the delivery person out of their way by getting them to deliver. These people are nice, even if they don't quite understand that delivering is the point of a delivery job. The other school is one that mistreats the driver because they are already doing exactly what they ask, why not see what else they will stoop themselves to. So, I have decided to include a new category directly following this paragraph.

Abuse Taken: 2